Real Friendship!

My friend asked me to do her hair for Labor Day weekend because she was planning to go to New York to the Caribbean Festival. I was like "that would be nice" I would like to go because I want my oldest son to understand his Jamaican culture so I saw a good opportunity to make that happen. So, she asked her family would it be OK if me and my children came along and they said yes, but yesterday she emailed me to inform me that she may not be able to go because of her financial situation.

I responded to her email stating: "I understand me and my husband was talking about the same thing and he was saying that I shouldn't go all the way to New York without extra spending money". I would have only had the $60 she was paying me to do her hair and I fully agree with my husband especially taking the kids along because you never now what's going to happen.

This morning she called me at like 8:30am telling me how she wrote me this long email and she wrote how she was feeling and I may not like it but she don't care it's how she felt, so I asked her what did she write because I didn't understand why she would have responded to my email with negative intentions and she told me to read it (you have to understand she was being a real bitch) yeah I said it a real BITCH!!!! I told her I wasn't on the computer so just tell me. Then she started saying that she didn't understand where I was coming from and she been to NY and never spent a lot of money and how she wouldn't take me anywhere and leave me hanging you know just going on and on. So I decided to see what she wrote in her email cause by this time I was awake and had a headache.

And this is what it said:

I don't have anything against ur husband, I don't know anything about him but the things that u tell me, n those things I keep it b/ u n I, so now, I know that ny its money, but I know becuase I been there plenty of times, n let me tell you one thing when I'm there I don't spend not one dollar except if I want food, first of all I will never ask u to go anywhere with me knowing ur situation, it was all about going to NY n going to carnaval that coz no money at all, I was not going to ask u for gas money or go half on a hotel, to buy food in NY its mad cheap, so ys 60 would of last you even if you were going by urself. Because I been to NY with 60 or less in my pockets n I still have fun. Don't feel like I'm disrespecting ur husband coz I'll never do that, but sometimes I feel that sometimes when it comes to you, he so negative o don't do this coz of this, if u do that, so. I would never ask u to go somewhere that would cost u. A lot of money. But like u said nxt time n the time I ask you to go somewhere it with u better say yes.

I was upset already because how she woke me up and after I read the email I got really mad and I let her have it the way she was giving it to me so I asked her why she was taking it so personal how come she didn't understand that I can't take myself or my kids out of town with only $60, and why she was coming off about my husband like that, but I accept full responsibility because I opened up to her as a friend about somethings me and my husband have gone through but I would have never guessed she would think so low of him but it's my fault so I just wanted to take this time to say to my husband: "I apologize, I know we go through our problems and at times I need to release the stress and I turn to people that I think would understand but I see that I shouldn't tell people things that will make them have a negative opinion about you, you are truly a great father and wonderful husband and I wouldn't change anything not even our struggles because it has brought us closer together. Thank you for being there to help me look at the whole picture even when it's not what I want to hear. We been together 7 years of course we have our problems but it's OK, I understood when I married you it wasn't going to be easy but it has truly been a blessing to have you in my life so I'm sorry and I love you. As friends we share things with each other and she has shared her relationship problems with me but I have never used it against her and it hurt me that she would do it to me.

I know she offered to hold us down in NY because she is my friend but I don't know anyone that will travel with two kids all the way to NY without emergency money. I understand where she was coming from but it was more like she wasn't understanding me this was the first time I was meeting her family, traveling with my kids and her. I was trying to explain that anything could happen what if my children wasn't comfortable staying at her families house I want to be able to get a room, if my kids get hungry I want to be able to buy them food without asking anyone, if I want to go shopping, etc. I just need to be able to do what I want when I want mind you we would have been in NY for 3-4 days not just for one day. I would be stupid to go to NY for that long with only $60 in my pocket. I feel like she unnecessarily attacked my husband and myself when we were both trying to do what was best for our children, I feel that the statements in the email towards my husband was false he was not being negative he was being a man. He was making sure his family would be OK. He knew I really wanted to go and he was happy but at the same time he knew I wasn't thinking about the money part because I just wanted to go with her.

I explained to her that she don't understand my situation because she don't have children or a husband she's not in my situation to understand where I'm coming from. Her going to NY with $60 is OK because she's alone and her family is there to help her. For me it's different! Although, she pissed me off and gave me a headache with all the yelling early this morning I still love her, I know she was just upset because she was looking forward to the trip and so was I but sometimes we can't get what we want and that's no reason to attack someone personally. However, she was woman enough to admit she wasn't looking at it from my point of view and she apologized she also apologized for the comments she made about my husband.

She wanted me to share this situation with you all too see if her reaction was legit or was I just over reacting!!! Either way we will always be friends no matter if we agree or not I just think that sometimes she should analyze the whole situation before she reacts then it wouldn't go this far cause the last thing I wanted was to wake up to drama!

My saying is learn from your situations and in this case I learned that although me and her have a real friendship I should keep my Marital problems to myself or my pastor because now my husband looks like the ass when he was just trying to look out for his family.